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Baby making class

By Hass :: January 08, 2005 @ 10:34 PM

We had our child birthing basics class today. Work schedules meant we had to go for the 8 hour saturday class instead of a 2-hour class once a week for four weeks. It was a great class, it filled me in on a lot of important matters and gave me a great idea how the uterus contracts in contractions.

My role in the birth process now seems clear too.
1) Get Nicole to the hospital (preferably well rested, fed, emotionally ready for battle, and with a feeling of satisfaction about the end of her foolish youth)
2) Park the car. This may seem pretty simple, but there was plenty of yelling this morning. And it would have been a whole lot worse had the confusing parking lot been coupled with contractions.
3) Keep Nicole cool, relaxed, breathing smoothly and comfortable through the labor process. I have been authroized to use any means neccesary, team breathing, distractions, eye contact, hot oil massages, jokes, fairy tales, admissions of complicity in international scandals, and most importantly letting her count my fingers as she exhales.
4) Adminster the epidural. I've gotta practice this one.
5) Help out and encourage while she pushes. woo team work.
6) Cut the cord
7) Call the fam
8) Post to the blog
9) Post the pics for all to see
10) Bribe the clerk to get a birth certificate

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