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Gato Commission Report

By Hass :: July 05, 2005 @ 08:33 PM

Shortly before 9 a.m. on July 3, 2005 a catastrophic breach of furniture security occured. This is the report of an independent investigative body charged with finding out the facts of went wrong and how it can be prevented in the future.

In this commison's view, a single baby taking a single poop was responsible. The Cuban government and CIA did not have any roles, although those alternatives were not fully investigated because a little bit of Cuban rum has a way of turning an investigation into a fiesta.


Figures 1 & 2 offer a detailed explanation of the incident.

The commision finds no explanation for the distant sound travel observed during the incident. The poopie was sighted several seconds before the sound reached the room, similar to the flash of lightning, followed X seconds later by the sound of it's crack. At least 18 seconds passed between when the poop was first felt seen and felt and when the farting and swooshing sound was observed. The commision does not believe this evidence supports a multiple poop theory. Although a few cheap drinks could persuade the commision to issue new findings.

Furthermore, this commision recommends exile for the baby, and the placement of waste absorbing litter 3 inches deep throughout the apartment.

Category Sprout :: Comments (1)


Oh my God, this is too funny. Amazing diagram, even better description.


Posted by: Kris at July 7, 2005 07:17 PM