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Gato Commission Report

By Hass :: July 05, 2005 @ 08:33 PM

Shortly before 9 a.m. on July 3, 2005 a catastrophic breach of furniture security occured. This is the report of an independent investigative body charged with finding out the facts of went wrong and how it can be prevented in the future.

In this commison's view, a single baby taking a single poop was responsible. The Cuban government and CIA did not have any roles, although those alternatives were not fully investigated because a little bit of Cuban rum has a way of turning an investigation into a fiesta.

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Figures 1 & 2 offer a detailed explanation of the incident.

The commision finds no explanation for the distant sound travel observed during the incident. The poopie was sighted several seconds before the sound reached the room, similar to the flash of lightning, followed X seconds later by the sound of it's crack. At least 18 seconds passed between when the poop was first felt seen and felt and when the farting and swooshing sound was observed. The commision does not believe this evidence supports a multiple poop theory. Although a few cheap drinks could persuade the commision to issue new findings.

Furthermore, this commision recommends exile for the baby, and the placement of waste absorbing litter 3 inches deep throughout the apartment.

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Bite me

By Hass :: June 29, 2005 @ 08:52 AM

I think we've found the root of Josie's recent restlessness and persistent rage, little chompers are coming in! She's teething. A big developmental stage for everybody, Josie gets to test out a new body part, and the parents get to test out their patience.

The discovery of teeth came at about 4:15. Josie had been in a persistent low-grade meltdown for about 75 minutes. Daddy had already been counting down the time until the 5 p.m. bath —a sure fire happy maker, but only good once a day— since 1 p.m. . And the fusing was only escalating. Nobody is really sure how the teething realization was made, the cat is partial to the Monolith theory, Hass thinks he was just smart, Cole says she had already known for days. Anyway you slice it, Hass ran down the hall, grabbed the frozen teething ring, shoved it in Josie's mouth and it was like an exorcism. The foul demons were gone and the happy baby had returnned.

Armed with knowledge, we have been able to treat Josie's excessive pissed-off-ed-ness. A little tylenol kept her sleeping through the night, with a completely acceptable 2 wake ups. Mommy on the other hand was up 6 times to check on her. Daddy slept, and was even able to sleep in until 6 a.m., making up a house full of happy campers.

It just goes to show, knowing is half the battle.

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So it begins(SAHD, day 1, hour 0)

By Hass :: June 27, 2005 @ 05:06 AM

The board is set and the game is in motion. Nicole returns to work today, and Hass uses FMLA to become a SAHD for the next 8 weeks.

Josie was so excited about spending time with daddy that she woke up at 5 and took a massive poop to express her excitement. Daddy was so excited that he woke up giddy at 3:30 and did the same.

In addition to naps, bottles, changings, spitting up and the like, We're planning a trip out to the Apple Store and Josie wants to work on a bit of a redesign of the mapgoblin site.

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Where have all the goblins gone?

By Hass :: June 07, 2005 @ 09:17 PM

It's been a hectic few weeks for me, but things are starting to wind down.

• Josie has been a perfect little angel, growing, learning and getting ready to celebrate her first quarter of life. (it's been a resoundingly profitable success for all share holders) She is currently working on a leveraged roll-over. yes I know we've been saying for months that she can roll over, but this time it's different. She is getting very close to a more purposefull roll, one that she realizes she can do and use as a tool to accomplish any number of goals. Previous rolls have generally been used as part of fits of rage.

• Why so few posts? Hass has done a poor job of keeping work and life seprate for the last few weeks. It's been more of a strategic decision on our part and Josie now has a few nifty little O.T. checks in her college fund. The extra time for work came straight out of my blogging time. I can't go into specifics about the top secret project I've been working on, but the bossman is doing his presentation on Thursday. As part of this secret project I've been thinking quite a bit about how working at a newspaper feels a lot like being a deck-chair-presentationographer.

• Why so few posts? #2. Expired "fresh" parmessean cheese. to leave out details, the experience left me reflecting that "I need to chew better." after nearly a week, I'm starting to feel normal again. #3 computer problems, 10.4.1 not as pretty as we had hoped. #4 Blog envy, I've been using wordpress for my secret project, and have found it to be much much sweeter than the venerable MT. #4, over expanded iphoto library, too many pictures, makes it too slow.

• To tie all of this together, my head is coming back above water. We plan to do a big Josie at 3-months photo shoot and retrospective this weekend. I'm considering converting MapGoblin to wordpress. And even considering splitting the site into a couple of different blogs, to give us the room to have all of this personal content and my take on the media industrial complex.

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10:02 p.m. - 5:36 a.m.

By Hass :: April 14, 2005 @ 05:52 AM

Looks like somebody just slept through the night, just goes to show that every hour with a baby is a completely different one.

Now if only we could say the same for the parents who were awakened at the following times
• 1:34 a.m. :: Is that your hand? incdient
• 2 a.m. :: hmm, Josie you still asleep? everything okay?
• 4:11 a.m. :: Josie fusses, hass stands by ready to change a diaper, but the fussing never escalates.
• 4:16 a.m. :: Cole advises, she's just fussing not crying and still asleep, leave her
• 4:28, 4:41, 5:02, 5:17 :: watchful ears listen to the loud sleeper.
• 5:36 a.m. :: yep, that's crying, get her!

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Back Home

By Grandma H. :: March 15, 2005 @ 12:21 PM

Hass, Nicole, and Josephine are home from the hospital. They're all well and happy, and Josie is keeping Mommy and Daddy very busy.

Daddy tasks are curtailing Hass's playtime, but he's got plenty more photos and will edit and upload as soon as Josie lets him.

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Josie's here!

By Grandma H. :: March 10, 2005 @ 09:33 PM

Josephine Kyle Hodges made her entry into the world at 8:08 this evening. She weighs 8 lbs, 11 oz, is 21 in long (the longest baby in the nursery), and is absolutely perfect!

Josie was aiming in the wrong direction, so Nicole had a C-section after being in labor all day. Nicole was conscious and Hass was sitting beside her when Josie was born. All three of them are doing well.

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Leaving for the Hospital

By Hass :: March 10, 2005 @ 06:46 AM

Wow, it feels like we're going away for the weekend, the cat has fresh liter and two bowls of food. Hass just finished the leftovers(indian: dum aloo and navrattan curry, emmm sweet sweet last meal), Cole had toast with peanut butter and jelly.

Not much to report, just that we're frantically running around to be there by 7:30. Feels like we've got an early flight, all of our labor toys are packed in carry-on sized parcels with no sharp objects in the bags. And once we get there I've gotta turn off my cell phone.

don't expect to see any comments approved until we return.

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Rules of the game

By Hass :: March 03, 2005 @ 08:17 PM

It's like waiting for christmas, but without a calendar. So every morning (afternoon and evening) we run downstairs and look under the tree, but find nothing.

Since we don't really know when christmas is going to come, once a week we go see Dr. Claus F.A.C.O.G., and she looks around the chimmney and says "Whoa, there is a fat bearded man just itching to get through there. He's most of the way down the flue, even widenned it by 4cm. Would you like some Egg Nog? You'd better go home and put those cookies and milk out. oh, and don't leave home without your sheet of Carolling lyrics."

So we go home, and put the cookies and milk out and go to sleep. Morning comes, the cat drank the milk and sold the cookies to get his drug money. Oh, what's that under the tree? Is that a bow? yes it's a bow! Are there any other bows? It's 8:15, how long until we find the next bow? how long between bows? oh it's noon and there aren't any more bows, guess it's not christmas.

So we wait, and try to stay off the naughty list.

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2005-02-25 09:42:37

By Hass :: February 27, 2005 @ 08:04 AM

Last Roll
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